I read somewhere that people who name their cars actually take better care of them, thereby extending the “life” of said car. I don’t know if this is true or not but it does make for a good excuse. When people who find out that we have named our Subaru give us the maybe-those-people-should-be-in-the-loony-bin look, we can drop this bit of trivia on them and stand there looking smug. Don’t think I haven’t done this a time or two.
The problem is that those lookers may be on to something. You see, we don’t just name our cars, oh no, that would be much too commonplace, we have named various appliances and other odd objects found around our house. Allow me to demonstrate.
Exhibit 1: Our Subaru
Behind the cute face of Carter dressed up as a frog for Halloween lurks our Subaru, Stanley. Before him was the great Hubert the Honda and before Hubert was my much loved, Betty a three tone (if you count the reddish primer) 1969 VW Bug.
Exhibit 2: Our washer and dryer
On the left you have our LG washer, Lola aptly named from the movie Run Lola Run, because she is always running. To the right is her sidekick Ken the Kenmore dryer.
Shall I go on? Yes? Ok, then.
Exhibit 3: Our dishwasher
Here you have a nice shot of Porcupine our dishwasher covered with dinosaur magnets. Cody named him Porcupine due to the numerous pokey things on the top and bottom rack that hold your dishes up.
Exhibits 4 and 5: Cody’s toothbrushes
If you can tear your eyes away from the ultra cute baby picture of Cody, you will note two toothbrushes that stand out from the crowd. The one front and center has been named Electric Pants because it is a spin brush. The smaller purple and green one responds to the name One Legged Suction Cup Pants. Yup, Cody named both of these. Also as you can see the boys bathroom has way more than two toothbrushes but we only have two boys. They have a hard time throwing the old ones out.
While I can not think of any other examples of inanimate objects with names at our house, we also have the tendency to name vague and somewhat obscure locations. The small mossy corner at the end of our driveway has gone by the name The Mossy Patch for years. In our woods you will find places like Three Hill Hollow and Cat Bridge Crossing as well as various places the boys have clamed to be an office, a store, and a UPS truck. Blackberry Alley is in our neighborhood and we have named a very short and worthless road in town The Super Secret Street. Last weekend while Husband was hanging Christmas lights up and down our hallway, Cody coined it Christmas Light Alley.
We have not named our toaster oven or even our waffle iron so I don’t think we are quite certifiable just yet.