The Skeletons in Our Closet

The alarm goes off.  Sometimes it wakes me up, sometimes it doesn’t.  Husband rolls out of bed turns it off and lumbers into the bathroom.  The door shuts, the light seeps out from under, and the shower starts up.  If I wake up to the alarm I am sometimes able to fall back to sleep while Husband sleep showers.  The bathroom door opens and then closes half way, shining light on his empty side of the bed.  I roll over or cover my head.  He braves the landmine of dogs, dog beds, and stray toys on his way to the closet.

The closet door opens and there is an unfamiliar rattling.  My sleep saturated mind tries to determine the source of the sound.  Were the boys playing in our closet again and left their jingle bell necklaces in one of Husband’s shoes?  Do belts make that noise if they get brushed by a shirt or a fumbling hand?  Ah, maybe it is the sound of the skeletons in our closet trying to get out.  Or the skeletons of the neighbors we stuffed in there.  You know the neighbors; the ones who lets their dogs poo all over our forest where the boys play even after I asked them nicely not to, the one who drives his red jeep way too fast down our dead end street, the crazy neighbor guy who…I drift back to sleep.

“Mama?!  It wake up time yet?”  And so my day begins in earnest this time.  We are well into breakfast when I remember the rattling and I smile a knowing smile.  Beer bottles, exactly fifty, resting in our closet.  Husband is trying his hand at home brewing and he and the boys bottled the brew last night, transferring it from the carboy to the bottles.

carboy to bucket

Transferring the beer from the carboy to the bucket (please disregard the general background clutter.)

bucket to bottle

While Cody and Kissy Shrimp look on the beer is transferred into bottles.

banished boys

After being told one too many times to stop running through the kitchen during the bottling process, the boys pull up chairs where living room meets kitchen and ask for popcorn. They did not get popcorn.

So instead of a huge vat of beer fermenting in my closet, there are fifty beer bottles carbonating in there instead.  For the next two weeks.  Or more.  At least it is on his side.

No actual neighbors were harmed in the making of this post.

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About shoes

I am a blogger, a former microbiologist, a stay at home mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
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12 Responses to The Skeletons in Our Closet

  1. Jodi Stone says:

    Love the picture of the boys watching, although I would have given them popcorn. :-)

    • shoes says:

      If it wouldn’t have been so close to their bedtime (and the fact that they were just in trouble for not listening) then I would have given them popcorn. Wow, I sounded like a mother just then, didn’t I? :-)

  2. I agree with Jodi’s comment… The picture of the boys watching the beer making process is a classic! Reminds me of something my 4 year old son said the other day while we were in a restaurant. “Mom. the only kind of beer I like is root beer.”

    Thanks for the post!

    • shoes says:

      Root beer – I love it! I always wonder what people think when in the grocery store one of the boys comments that we have not bought Jubilee Ale in a while so perhaps we should get that. How do they remember what type of beer we buy and like? It is crazy.

  3. Nancy says:

    Hilarious post. I can totally see this happening in my life. Hopefully the beer turns out to be good!

  4. muddledmom says:

    I hope none of them explode! My brother-in-law made a batch and the bottles popped open. At least they’re on his side of the closet. ; )

  5. Erika says:

    Love this! My husband had a time when he was brewing as well and it was alot of fun. I can totally relate to/picture the scene in the morning. What would someone say if they did not know the whole story?

    • shoes says:

      Actually this was right before their bedtime in the evening but you are right there might be some raised eyebrows from people if they just saw the pictures of kids brewing beer. :-) I hope this batch turns out better than the last one but either way it is a lot of fun to learn about the process and actually do it.

  6. cestarr says:

    Oh man! I can’t show this to my husband or I will surely have a closet full of homemade brew! Don’t give him any ideas. =)

    • shoes says:

      Hehehe. A closet full of homebrew is a bit strange (and thanks to Muddled Mom, I am now worried about exploding beer) but when it is time to drink it, assuming it tastes good, it will be worth it. It is fun to learn the process of beer making and the boys like being a part of it too.

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