I start to notice signs of their arrival as soon as the warm weather comes. A torn piece of leaf in the living room. A wilted dandelion in the hallway. A partially eaten pinecone and dirt. Lots of dirt. They leave trails of organic debris wherever they go. I have learned that the bathroom sink is centric to most of their indoor activities.
Yesterday I walked into the boys’ bathroom to start the bath and stopped dead in my tracks. The Bathroom Badgers were back. The countertop was covered with bits of sandy dirt. The mud smeared sink glistened with liquid soap and there was a glob of toothpaste mocking gravity as it clung to the counter’s edge. As if in a final defiant act the hand towel, miserably crumpled in a heap on the floor, was tossed in the air as I imagine those pesky Bathroom Badgers dashing out the door, the damage done.
I do not know if the Bathroom Badger is indigenous to the Pacific Northwest or not. They seem to show up during the spring and summer months when the weather is nice and, coincidently, the boys basically live outdoors riding bikes, tromping through the forest, and digging in the dirt.
I will have to ask Cody and Carter if they have ever seen one because I have not. Have you seen one? Is your house plagued with Bathroom Badgers too? Maybe it is a worldwide phenomenon that no one ever speaks of. It’s not like you want to tell the world when you have cockroaches in your kitchen or boll weevils in your flour so perhaps mum’s the word when it comes to Bathroom Badgers too. If that’s the case then we most certainly don’t have Bathroom Badgers and I was really just writing about someone else right now.