The Inanimates Who “Live” in Our House

Hello sticker

I read somewhere that people who name their cars actually take better care of them, thereby extending the “life” of said car.  I don’t know if this is true or not but it does make for a good excuse.  When people who find out that we have named our Subaru give us the maybe-those-people-should-be-in-the-loony-bin look, we can drop this bit of trivia on them and stand there looking smug.  Don’t think I haven’t done this a time or two.

The problem is that those lookers may be on to something.  You see, we don’t just name our cars, oh no, that would be much too commonplace, we have named various appliances and other odd objects found around our house.  Allow me to demonstrate.

Exhibit 1:  Our Subaru

Stanley and frog

Behind the cute face of Carter dressed up as a frog for Halloween lurks our Subaru, Stanley.  Before him was the great Hubert the Honda and before Hubert was my much loved, Betty a three tone (if you count the reddish primer) 1969 VW Bug.

Exhibit 2: Our washer and dryer

Lola and Ken

On the left you have our LG washer, Lola aptly named from the movie Run Lola Run, because she is always running.  To the right is her sidekick Ken the Kenmore dryer.

Shall I go on?  Yes?  Ok, then.

Exhibit 3: Our dishwasher


Here you have a nice shot of Porcupine our dishwasher covered with dinosaur magnets.  Cody named him Porcupine due to the numerous pokey things on the top and bottom rack that hold your dishes up.

Exhibits 4 and 5: Cody’s toothbrushes

Electric Pants

If you can tear your eyes away from the ultra cute baby picture of Cody, you will note two toothbrushes that stand out from the crowd.  The one front and center has been named Electric Pants because it is a spin brush.  The smaller purple and green one responds to the name One Legged Suction Cup Pants.  Yup, Cody named both of these.  Also as you can see the boys bathroom has way more than two toothbrushes but we only have two boys.  They have a hard time throwing the old ones out.

While I can not think of any other examples of inanimate objects with names at our house, we also have the tendency to name vague and somewhat obscure locations.  The small mossy corner at the end of our driveway has gone by the name The Mossy Patch for years.  In our woods you will find places like Three Hill Hollow and Cat Bridge Crossing as well as various places the boys have clamed to be an office, a store, and a UPS truck.  Blackberry Alley is in our neighborhood and we have named a very short and worthless road in town The Super Secret Street.  Last weekend while Husband was hanging Christmas lights up and down our hallway, Cody coined it Christmas Light Alley.

We have not named our toaster oven or even our waffle iron so I don’t think we are quite certifiable just yet.

About Shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
This entry was posted in Random Thoughts and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to The Inanimates Who “Live” in Our House

  1. illusionofsanity says:

    Love this! We call our van the Millenium Falcon (from Star Wars, because we’re big fans). 🙂

  2. Jodi Stone says:

    I haven’t named my last two cars mostly because I didn’t like them. 😦 But besides cars I don’t normally name inanimate objects/appliances….. I have however named the gas station just off the highway as “Dirty Dave’s” not sure exactly why probably because it doubles as a ‘convenience’ store, but rips you off.

    • shoes says:

      We have a white Ford F150 that has no personality and we are not too excited about so it has not be given a name either. Dirty Dave’s is a great name for a highway side gas station/store, although the owners would probably disagree. 🙂

  3. Beth says:

    I like porcupine the dishwasher. I never linked porcupines with the interior of a dishwasher before, but very apt. I love how kids see the world in fresh ways.

    • shoes says:

      I thought that was a pretty clever name too, but then mothers tend to think their own kids are brilliant and creative so it’s a bit hard to be subjective on such matters. 🙂

  4. Mary Ann says:

    I don’t name our appliances, but I think very nice thoughts about them, and they last a long time!

  5. Hetterbell says:

    I name all sorts of inanimate objects, too. I even named my last computer. But when it had to be replaced I never renamed the new one for fear of THAT having to be replaced, too, and me being too attached to it!!!! 😀

  6. marie says:

    We don’t really name our appliances, but my daughter just refused to hit a pomegranate with the back of her spoon (to take out the seeds) because “it has feelings.” It is good to know that we are not alone…. 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s