Guns and Chicken Eggs

We are lucky enough to live in an area that has lots of backyard farms and as such we are able to get farm fresh eggs.  Our eggs come from happy chickens, all of which have their own distinct personalities, their own proper name, and roam free for a better part of their days.  I love knowing that the eggs we eat come from chickens that are well cared for.  And they taste way better than the anemic looking store bought ones.


Janet lives in the old renovated farm house on the property with her two children and her husband (who, due to the location of his job is only home during the weekends.)  She takes care of her children, the flock of about forty chickens, a turkey named Perkins, some rabbits, three dogs, a few barn cats, a pony named Blue and a Clydesdale named Abbey.  She is also very type A; everything has its place and should be in it.  She actually uses a small tractor with a rake attachment thingy to rake smooth her gravel driveway.  Oh, and she hung a chandelier in the horse barn because she had an extra one and thought it would look nice.  It does.

Last week when we went to get eggs the boys begged to be let out of the car.  I let them out and they went wandering over to a large lop eared bunny who was digging under some bushes.  I saw Janet sitting at a small table under a vine covered gazebo writing out instructions for me on how to grill a whole chicken (she started raising and selling broiler chickens and we had ordered two to try them out.)  I walk up to her and burst out laughing.  On the table in front of her was a bottle of beer with a few sips taken from it and a handgun.  There had been some coyotes prowling about and she brought out the gun in case she needed to defend her chickens or herself.  The conversation turned to how to grill chickens and out of the corner of my eye I saw Cody and Carter had come over and stand nearby.  Next thing I know Cody had scooped up the gun and holding it up asks, “What’s this?”  The gun was not loaded, the clip was laying on the table but talk about a stop your heart kind of moment.

I have had the “don’t touch guns” talk with the boys but in retrospect, if they have never seen one, the talk is pretty much meaningless.  A real gun looks quite different from the brightly colored plastic water guns my boys know.  The boys don’t watch anything that has guns in it unless Curious George, Kipper, or Shaun the Sheep have recently started packing heat.

The whole experience got me thinking about the other talks I have given the boys.  The “don’t touch matches” talk is probably over their heads since I don’t ever use matches, I use a fire starter when lighting a fire in our fireplace.  Do they know what a match is and how to use it so that I can tell them not to?  I doubt it.  The “don’t talk to strangers” talk is a big one, the definition of a stranger a slippery thing. The “don’t approach wild animals” talk.  Yes, we talk about wild animals as we have had numerous cougar and bear sightings around our town and even at the children’s schools.  But if I had to place money on it, I would bet that my boys would be the ones trying to pet or feed the cute rabid raccoon or play with the cuddly cougar.

I don’t want to scare them I just want to keep them safe from anything that could possibly cause them harm.  Is that too much to ask?

Excuse me while I go double check the tape that is holding the bubble wrap on my children.

About Shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
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12 Responses to Guns and Chicken Eggs

  1. Curious George packing heat – that’s one episode that really needs to happen!

    • shoes says:

      I am visualizing a spy monkey episode where he has a double gun holster around his waist. He draws his guns, yellow banana shaped ones of course, peels them and goes apeshit open firing on an unsuspecting criminal.

      Or not… 🙂

  2. Jodi Stone says:

    OMG I took in a big deep breath of air when I read that. But you are so right, how do teach them about something they haven’t seen.

    The stranger thing was always tricky for me too. How do you teach them about strangers when we pass strangers on the street and nod, hello. Or ask, “how are you?” I always gave my kids a code word, and told them if anyone asked them to go with them, they needed the code word. I’m sure I can tell you now since they are now between the ages of 25 – 33, but our code word was ‘button.’ Fairly obscure but easily remembered by them.

    • shoes says:

      I had never thought about it before, I just figured they knew what a gun looked like. It was pretty freaky to see Cody standing there holding a gun. I think I scared the heck out of him with my reaction.
      We really struggle with the stranger thing as it sounds like you did. How to I tell them who is a stranger and who isn’t when I send them off to school with a “stranger” driving the bus to a school full of “strangers” – teachers, office workers, etc. And there is that being nice to strangers thing too, saying “hi” or waving when someone stops at a crosswalk for you. I had not thought of using a password but I might give that a try.

  3. mimijk says:

    Amazing how they grow up isn’t it – is it because of us or in spite of us? 🙂 When you check on the bubble wrap, make sure that tape is secure! 🙂

    • shoes says:

      I am amazed how they can get through the day, much less their entire childhood, without loosing a limb or poking their eye out. The tape is secure and the bubble wrap in place, ha!

  4. I think a helicopter mom can talk quite successfully to a bubble wrap mom – though my kids are in their twenties now, I do not stop worrying about them. I remember not wanting my kids to have guns and they made them out of everything on hand, twigs, lego — you name it – I finally gave up (with a fight)

    • shoes says:

      Hehehehe – I think a mini pope mobile that is controlled remotely by me to safely transport my children to and from various check points might be my next step up from the bubble wrap.
      We broke down and got them water guns at the end of last summer because they were making guns out of things anyway. What do you do? I am glad they mainly used their water guns to water (albeit inefficiently) various potted plants that would otherwise be completely neglected and left to wither and die.

  5. Wow, that is freaky – him holding the gun part. I am very anti-gun. My wife goes crazy every time she thinks the boys are even playing a video game with a gun.

    • shoes says:

      It was pretty scary to see him holding the gun even though I knew it was not loaded. I used to be very adamant about no guns of any kind but last summer we did get them some water guns. We talk about how guns can be used to hurt or kill people and it is not nice to even pretend to do that with their water guns. It still makes me cringe to see those video games with the gun controller things when we go to a pizza place or a bowling alley and we do not do any shoot em up games or movies.
      I am actually kind of glad we had this gun experience because it really made an impression on Cody. I think my serious reaction and honest fear about it startled him.

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