Let us Level the Playing Field, Shall we?

As some of you may know, I started working out using the Xbox/Kinect Your Shape workout program a few months ago.  After a minor toe injury (what I lovingly refer to as my Xbox Toe) and a bit more of a major ankle/foot/arch injury, I took a couple weeks off.  I also broke down and bought some decent workout shoes.

Workout Shoes

Then summer break happened and my nice scheduled kid-free mornings evaporated and there was a serious lack of routine.  I still manage to workout two or three times a week and I am still enjoying it but I do have some issues with the program.  It lacks a certain realistic quality.  I have come up with some ways to make the program more realistic as well as to level the playing field between me and my virtual workout instructor.

First off the instructor is lacking in a few key areas.  She/He needs to be provided some of the challenges I have to work around:

Two Kids (who):

  1. Fight
  2. Flail around in the workout space, confusing the Kinect to no end
  3. Make me laugh and mess up when I am suppose to be focusing on stomping on imaginary panels that light up
  4. Drop toys/pillows/blankets off the couch onto the floor behind me causing me to trip while jumping rope
  5. Need drinks of milk/a snack/help with the bathroom/other various things kids tend to need

A Dog (who):

  1. Lounges in my way
  2. Farts
  3. Occasionally stretches out in front of me so that when I am kicking virtual soccer balls for two minutes, he cringes as if I am almost, but not quite, kicking him.  It is a long two minutes for the both of us when this happens.

A Cat (who):

  1. Tries to climb onto my burning abs to take a nap while I am struggling to complete eight reps of pulsing crunches
  2. May or may not have successfully taken a drink from my glass of water on the floor.  I can’t be sure but her head has gotten fully inside the glass several times leaving me looking at my water rather suspiciously    

In the Miscellaneous Category:

  1. Instead of her virtual soft and clean  floor she needs some carpet that provides her with rug burnt elbows during the Up & Down Plank and no matter how often she vacuums it, still has pet hair and pine needles
  2. An innate lack of coordination with mild balance issues thrown in for good measure
  3. Mom guilt for working out for an hour during which time her kids are glued to the t.v. This has to count as “screen time” right?

and last but not Least:

  1. Unruly underwear that creep and require tugging back into its proper place several times throughout the workout.  I have seriously considered going commando but my modesty and proper upbringing have not allowed me to do so.

I think these simple additions will add a realistic quality to the entire experience.  Or at least it would make me feel better.

About Shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
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20 Responses to Let us Level the Playing Field, Shall we?

  1. Life just keeps getting in the way – doesn’t it?

  2. Randy Palmer says:

    That was funny. And after hearing my wife say the same things…very real. Thanks for the morning entertainment.

  3. cestarr says:

    Oh I remember these same challenges when our kids were little! Now our teenagers mock our P90X moves and are mortified that we dare work out in front of the window where their friends might see us from the road! This keeps the commando suggestion off the table for us as well- though its extremely tempting. Great post!

    • shoes says:

      Oh I am sure your kids’ friends are lined up on the street trying to get a peek at you and your husband’s workout moves. Too funny! Part of me is looking forward to the days when I can easily mortify the boys. 🙂 Mostly I don’t want them to grow up yet. I want them to continue to think that I am awesome and fun to be around.

  4. jensine says:

    OOOHHH I have that kind of knickers too, and I always ask myself :Where did they come from … but it could all be made into a new Olympic category

  5. Alex says:

    hahaha! Life has a way of sticking you! My latest workout has been dancing with my son while watching dance movies…. his latest obsession. does the robot count as dancing? or even a workout?

  6. mimijk says:

    So true – I think you should make your own work out video and I bet it would sell millions, cause everyone would be able to relate to it (but definitely wear underwear while filming)…:-)

    • shoes says:

      I like the way you think although I don’t know if I want the public to see me and my uncoordinated ways tripping over my feet and various toys while trying to lose a pound or two even if there are millions to be had. Oh and underwear would most certainty be worn. 😉

      • mimijk says:

        I think the public would love it, cause we’re all tripping over our feet too! Don’t even ask how I had to leave a zumba class completely embarrassed by my two left feet!!

  7. Whenever I try to work out, my daughter watches from behind and asks “What are you doing Mommy? Why are you dancing funny?” Can’t concentrate with a back seat couch potato commenting on my every move.

    • shoes says:

      For the most part the boys cheer me on and tell me what a good job I am doing. Sometimes they point out my low scores or tell me to try harder or run faster. Cody asks lots of questions which are hard to answer when I am trying to breath. It is hard to concentrate with an audience. Carter loves it when I try to do the Latin dancing for some reason. They have not started mocking me. Yet.

  8. Jodi Stone says:

    I certainly don’t have the challenges you have, but I do have one chocolate lab. It is hard to do anything when she is sticking her face in yours. 🙂

    Oh and BTW, TMI but I went commando for an entire year. It was oddly liberating. 🙂

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