Today has been one of those days, you know, one of those days in which you actually write “shower” on your to do list so there is a greater chance that you will actually get to shower and if you do shower, you get that little spark of accomplishment that comes with crossing it off your list.
I am feeling down. I shouldn’t feel that way at all, instead I should feel rather euphoric. Yesterday I received the news that I passed not one, not two, but ALL THREE subsets of the WEST-B test I took three weeks ago. Not only did I pass the entire test but I did really, really well. I was shocked to hear that I passed all three portions and was completely blown away by my scores (I only missed two out of the sixty math questions! Of course my first thought upon hearing this was I wonder which ones I missed and what I did wrong). My lowest score, sadly enough in the writing portion, was 93%. Husband brought home some delicious double IPA, a large slice of red velvet cake, and a bouquet of flowers to celebrate my smashing of the test.
Yesterday I also received word that the university of my choosing has sent me the coveted Offer of Admissions letter and that they will work with me on placement for my student teaching so I can be close to home, perhaps even in the school both boys will be attending next year.
Everything is falling into place. And yet today I am morose. I have grouched around while still being productive. I have completed and printed out the stack of papers that we will take with us to Carter’s kindergarten registration this Saturday. I have planted the two primroses Carter and I picked out as a way to honor the memory of Dexter. I even took the time to do my workout program this morning.
And yes, I took a shower.
If I was forced to put my finger on it, I would say that I am a bit depressed by all the change that is happening. I don’t like change even if it is for the better. It stresses me. And lately there has been a lot of it.
College. Again.
Finding childcare and realizing that I will miss so many precious moments with my boys while I toil away learning to become a teacher.
Registering my youngest child for kindergarten.
Dexter’s death and the fact that we have, as Carter puts it, “zero dogs”.
Becoming a reader columnist for The News Tribune and actually having to produce good material on a deadline.
All these things are good, even Dexter’s death for he was old and in pain. And yet I do not feel good about it all. At least I don’t today.
Maybe tomorrow.
Shoes On The Wrong Feet 
Maybe just a success hangover? Adrenaline withdrawal?
Ha – because I am such the adrenaline junkie? But you may have something there. Lucky for me, I have the WEST-E to start stressing about now.
One of those days. It is alot and even if nearly all of it is good things can still be overwhelming. Hopefully, a good night of sleep will help put oyu in the proper frame of mind.
I think I have un-slumped myself and am on to focusing on the next item to tackle. I really wish all this change was not quite so dramatic.
Cool about the unslumping.
I have a feeling once you start living the change it wont seem as dramatic. It will feel like life.
Tomorrow will be better. Perhaps you are like a Phoenix bird about to rise from the ashes, even if the ashes were created by some good transformation. Hang in there!
Thanks – I am feeling much better. There are good changes on the horizon.
That is great!
Everything will be ok! Congrats on all your sucess and I hope that it only continues.
Thank you! I need to try better to pace myself so I don’t get burnt out during the next year and a half. I just want to do well at whatever I am working on so it is hard.
I know what you mean. Just the other day I was feeling very emotional, and it was because of all the changes in life. Even if the changes are good things, the fact that things are forever changing just kind of makes it hard. It’s hard to keep up sometimes! I hope all the adjusting goes well for you and your family.
You are right – it is hard to keep up sometimes. I hope the changes in your world are for the good and you are doing well. I wish I could embrace change and not stress so much about it but I am a worrier. I need to do better at finding ways to decompress from time to time.
Hang in there, it will all work out in the end.
I am holding on with both hands! It will be very worth it in the end. Eyes on the prize.
Wow. You have a lot going on! It isn’t natural to be happy all the time. Hope you feel good about the change(s) tomorrow.
You are right, happiness would not be so, well, happy if it stuck around all the time. It is good or at least normal to have slumps but it does not mean I have to like it. 🙂
Tomorrow…you’re right. Today, a shower sounds about right. And a little quiet time just to breathe…
I love showers. 🙂
I am doing much better. I really do need to find a way to decompress, I can feel the stress perched on my shoulders and it gets heavier and heavier.
I am not fond of change either, so I understand! Chin up! Tomorrow is a brand new day!
I need to find a way to coexist with this change for it will be around for the next couple years. Showers and hot cups of coffee are my weapon of choice for now.
This will soon pass. And you are so strong and courageous.
I hope you get out of this funk soon so you can enjoy all the wonderful things that are happening to you.
Take care, friend!
I am doing much better. I think I just got a bit overwhelmed with everything that is going on. I think I need to find a book of inspirational quotes or something to use to drag me out of these slumps.
Shoes, don’t feel down ! It’s the uncertainty whether things will work out or not. I’m so sure that you will make it happen and things will fall into place. So just relax before the madness starts 🙂
Uncertainty and I don’t like each other! I fear that I will have to find a way to get along with her for she will be my neighbor for the next couple years.
The madness starts April first with my first two prereq classes, that is also the deadline for all the paperwork for my grad school and student placement (and the date of my next newspaper article).
I don’t know about you but sometimes when I accomplish a certain amount of things I feel let down because I don’t know what goal I will strive for next.
Hang in there, you’ll get through this too, Lauren. 😉
You might be right about that Jodi (says Lauren with a twinkle in her eye). I have several things to focus on but they are all little and annoying, like gnats at a picnic.
It may be that you’re very tired out by it all and when you’ve had a chance to catch up on a bit of rest you’ll feel a lot better.
Rest is what I need. I slept in the last two mornings and feel much refreshed. I need to write myself another list of items to take care of and then knock them off one by one.
I can understand where you’re coming from. I had a virus during the first two months of the year and it left me tired a lot. I have been very partial to list making over the years, but recently my lists have daunted me, so now I only list essentials that I don’t think I’ll remember. 😀
I hope you are feeling better. It is hard to be tired and sick for so long. I love my lists! 🙂
Thanks. I’ve improved a lot now. As long as you love your lists that’s OK. I just felt I was being controlled by mine so they had to go. 😀
It sounds like you are caught between the flatness of moments. The test score you anticipated (great job!) arrived, the courses haven’t started yet. You are in a pause before a huge amount of change rushes into your life. Decisions are made and now you must wait and brood about what comes next. Btw – on the column – have you considered sharing some of the blog posts about your dad?
Yup. Now I have to wait before jumping into the pool my eariler decisions have created. I don’t like waiting.
I have considered writing a piece about my dad for the paper or using one from the blog. I don’t know if it is something the newspaper would want – it is not fluffy. Plus I am not entirely sure I want to share that with the greater world out there.
It sounds like you are caught between the flatness of moments. The test score you anticipated (great job!) arrived, the courses haven’t started yet. You are in a pause before a huge amount of change rushes into your life. Decisions are made and now you must wait and brood about what comes next. Btw – on the column – have you considered sharing some of the blog posts about your dad?
How come I understand this so well?! And to make a note to take a shower…been there done that 😀 Sometimes, I’m all charged up for adventure. Take a bigger bite out of life. And then when it’s all happening, I’m flapping about like a fish out of water. Ahh…change. I’m learning to transition myself better from one level to another. A friend once wisely shared with me that in all we do, do it in such a way as not to stir up the dust in our hearts. I don’t know why but the imagery that evokes helps me to walk lightly and to tread easy. And may I say what brilliant scores you got for your tests! Congratulations! So very glad to catch up with you today. Keep well, I look forward to all the great things coming your way! Sharon
Sometimes we need those reminders to do the little things that go along with taking care of ourselves like writing “shower” on our to do list.
I am so glad you came over and got caught up on the goings on in my life. I have been dying to blog more but have not been able to find both the time and energy at the same time to actually do it.