Yesterday Cody turned ten.
The big one zero.
The full two hands.
Every year, I go back and reread the first post I wrote about his birthday and every year it gives me chills. Those of you who have been with me awhile and have already read (and perhaps even re-read) it, I’m sorry for repeating myself. Those of you who have not read it, feel free to do so. It provides for you a picture of a moment that has shaped and continues to shape my life.
Cody’s birth was scary and traumatic and everything I did not want it to be. It was followed by many, many months of worry, of fear, of guilt, and loss – an emotional tearing within me. There were days when I was terrified that he would not live. And there were days when I was terrified he would. And the guilt that came with both.
The rawness and intense panic in which we lived, still resides within me. And if I allow myself to think on it, to really stop and take it in again, I am reduced to a throat tightening, eye-welling state; a precipice of panic.
And then I look at Cody, and I smile. I am in awe of him. He is kind and funny. He is inquisitive and quirky. He is everything I wanted him to be, and more.
Happy birthday to my sweet and wonderful child – happy birthday Cody!
I read again the first post about Cody. You have been so brave and patient. You have been through so much pain and now you see- your boy is perfect for your family, for your life. I just think you are amazing Mum and women and thanks a lot for sharing your post. I looked at it with different eyes and feelings. Very strong touching post! Xxx
Ahh, thank you. It sure has been a journey. I feel so lucky to have made it through so much and to have come out the other side with such great kids and a strong family. I still can’t believe it has been 10 years!
And Happy Birthday to Cody and Happy Codys Birthday to you too! 🎂
Happy birthday Cody!
It looks like you had a great and well-deserved celebration! Cheers to you and your family.
It was a blast!
A Belated Happy Birthday to Cody! I can’t believe another year has gone by already!
(Fidgety Butterfly, here – I just realised I hadn’t switched.)
Thank you! 🙂