Simple Sunday – 10

Yesterday Cody turned ten.

The big one zero.

The full two hands.

Double digits.

Wow.

Every year, I go back and reread the first post I wrote about his birthday and every year it gives me chills.  Those of you who have been with me awhile and have already read (and perhaps even re-read) it, I’m sorry for repeating myself.  Those of you who have not read it, feel free to do so.  It provides for you a picture of a moment that has shaped and continues to shape my life.

Cody’s birth was scary and traumatic and everything I did not want it to be.  It was followed by many, many months of worry, of fear, of guilt, and loss – an emotional tearing within me.  There were days when I was terrified that he would not live.  And there were days when I was terrified he would.  And the guilt that came with both.

The rawness and intense panic in which we lived, still resides within me.  And if I allow myself to think on it, to really stop and take it in again, I am reduced to a throat tightening, eye-welling state; a precipice of panic.

And then I look at Cody, and I smile.  I am in awe of him.  He is kind and funny.  He is inquisitive and quirky.  He is everything I wanted him to be, and more.

Happy birthday to my sweet and wonderful child – happy birthday Cody!

BirthdayCody

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About shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
This entry was posted in Little Feet, Simple Sunday and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Simple Sunday – 10

  1. I read again the first post about Cody. You have been so brave and patient. You have been through so much pain and now you see- your boy is perfect for your family, for your life. I just think you are amazing Mum and women and thanks a lot for sharing your post. I looked at it with different eyes and feelings. Very strong touching post! Xxx

    • shoes says:

      Ahh, thank you. It sure has been a journey. I feel so lucky to have made it through so much and to have come out the other side with such great kids and a strong family. I still can’t believe it has been 10 years!

  2. And Happy Birthday to Cody and Happy Codys Birthday to you too! 🎂

  3. lazarmihai764 says:

    Happy birthday Cody!

  4. Mary Ann says:

    It looks like you had a great and well-deserved celebration! Cheers to you and your family.

  5. A Belated Happy Birthday to Cody! I can’t believe another year has gone by already!

    (Fidgety Butterfly, here – I just realised I hadn’t switched.)

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