How to Lose 12.8 Pounds Safely and Instantly*

  1. Pick up cat
  2. Step onto scale
  3. Record weight
  4. Put down cat
  5. Step onto scale
  6. Record weight
  7. Subtract second weight from first weight to calculate weight lost
  8. Celebrate weight loss by eating a piece or two of fudge
  9. Repeat process whenever necessary
*Actual results may vary based upon naturally occurring variations found within cats.  Not responsible for any and all injuries or adverse health related events that may or may not take place surrounding the use of this weight loss program.  See your health care provider for additional information.
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About shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
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9 Responses to How to Lose 12.8 Pounds Safely and Instantly*

  1. Love it! Plus all that weight lifting is exercise. Ought to eat another fudge to reward yourself for that.

  2. Damn. To think I had the perfect weight loss plan all these years and never took advantage of it!

  3. Marc-André says:

    LOL hilarious. Love this advice.

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