How to Lose 12.8 Pounds Safely and Instantly*

Posted on December 11, 2018 by Shoes
  1. Pick up cat
  2. Step onto scale
  3. Record weight
  4. Put down cat
  5. Step onto scale
  6. Record weight
  7. Subtract second weight from first weight to calculate weight lost
  8. Celebrate weight loss by eating a piece or two of fudge
  9. Repeat process whenever necessary
*Actual results may vary based upon naturally occurring variations found within cats.  Not responsible for any and all injuries or adverse health related events that may or may not take place surrounding the use of this weight loss program.  See your health care provider for additional information.
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About Shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
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9 Responses to How to Lose 12.8 Pounds Safely and Instantly*

  1. Ilsa Rey's avatar ParentingIsFunny says:
    December 11, 2018 at 12:33 pm

    Love it! Plus all that weight lifting is exercise. Ought to eat another fudge to reward yourself for that.

    Reply
  2. Rivergirl's avatar rivergirl1211 says:
    December 12, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    Damn. To think I had the perfect weight loss plan all these years and never took advantage of it!

    Reply
  3. Marc-André's avatar Marc-André says:
    December 16, 2018 at 12:15 pm

    LOL hilarious. Love this advice.

    Reply

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