Wait! Weight?

So I have a weight problem. 

Although in the grand scheme of things, gaining 5 pounds may not seem like much of a problem at all, it makes me cringe and try on fifteen outfits before settling on one that walks that fine line between frumpy and, well, almost not frumpy.  Ugh.

You see, I am forty-something and I have never had issues with my weight.  My body size has been pretty constant.  So constant in fact, that when we were packing to move from Washington to Arizona a few years ago and I came across one of my old prom dresses – I could still fit into it.

How do I know this?  Well, standing there in the garage surrounded by moving boxes, I flung off my shorts and top (and bra – well it was a strapless dress!) and slithered into it.  When Unsuspecting Husband came strolling around the corner and was confronted with the sight of me in a late 80’s peach and lace poof, I took his complete silence as evidence that he was knocked breathless by my beauty.  Bam!

This “weight problem”, I’ve noticed, is reoccurring and seasonal, rearing its ugly head about two weeks into summer break.  And it is more than just my muffin top (I wrote about that in 2012, blaming it on the migrating porn-star sized breasts I gained from breastfeeding which I tried unsuccessfully to eliminate in a flurry of home workouts). 

I have started referring to my muffin top as my “water waist”, blaming it on the extra water I drink in the summers here in Arizona.  (Never you mind the extra margaritas, poolside beers, larger more bacon centric breakfasts, lunches consisting of more than a half a sandwich and a piece of fruit that I shove down my throat during my short teacher lunch, and the more numerous dining out dinners that take place during summer break.  No, that daily extra glass of water is clearly to blame).  But as I said, it is more than just the muffin top.  It is the thighs and tuckus too. 

The cause of the problem is multifaceted.  It is not just that extra 8 ounces of H2O (and maybe, to a lesser extent, the other summer consumptions listed above), but also the antiquity of my summer wardrobe .  My shorts are all at least five years old with ridiculous sizes of 2’s and 4’s.  I also do not meet my step goal during the summer days.  I do not rove around a classroom all day but instead hang out with my boys and sit in front of my computer screen lesson planning for next year. 

How did I “solve” this problem?  Well, about halfway through writing this post, I had to stop and take Cody and Carter shopping for long pants and lightweight jackets.  (These will be needed for out upcoming trip to Washington.)  I despise clothes shopping, regardless of whether the clothes are for me or not.  There was a sale.  Some of the shorts and dresses were cute.  We had to walk past them in order to get to the boys section.

I may have accidently bought myself some new clothes.  I realize this does not solve my weight gain but it makes me feel good.  The clothes actually feel good on me and I feel good in them. 

So, I will continue to drink that extra glass of water and perhaps I will drink one less margarita and eat one less piece of bacon (Ha, yeah right!), knowing that when school starts up again I will easily surpass my step goal just by walking around the classroom, my calorie count will decrease dramatically, I will stop drinking that extra water, and things will get back to normal.

About Shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
This entry was posted in Muffin Top Madness, Random Thoughts and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Wait! Weight?

  1. Hilarious! Oh can I relate to this!

  2. I feel the same. Ahh, maybe when summer is gone, everything will be back to normal… But if not, clothes shopping therapy will come handy.

  3. Those glasses of water are very cheeky… 🙂

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