With the Warmer Weather Comes the Bathroom Badgers

I start to notice signs of their arrival as soon as the warm weather comes.  A torn piece of leaf in the living room.  A wilted dandelion in the hallway.  A partially eaten pinecone and dirt.  Lots of dirt.  They leave trails of organic debris wherever they go.  I have learned that the bathroom sink is centric to most of their indoor activities.

Yesterday I walked into the boys’ bathroom to start the bath and stopped dead in my tracks.  The Bathroom Badgers were back.  The countertop was covered with bits of sandy dirt.  The mud smeared sink glistened with liquid soap and there was a glob of toothpaste mocking gravity as it clung to the counter’s edge.  As if in a final defiant act the hand towel, miserably crumpled in a heap on the floor, was tossed in the air as I imagine those pesky Bathroom Badgers dashing out the door, the damage done.

Collage of Bathroom Badgers

I do not know if the Bathroom Badger is indigenous to the Pacific Northwest or not.  They seem to show up during the spring and summer months when the weather is nice and, coincidently, the boys basically live outdoors riding bikes, tromping through the forest, and digging in the dirt.

I will have to ask Cody and Carter if they have ever seen one because I have not.  Have you seen one?  Is your house plagued with Bathroom Badgers too?  Maybe it is a worldwide phenomenon that no one ever speaks of.  It’s not like you want to tell the world when you have cockroaches in your kitchen or boll weevils in your flour so perhaps mum’s the word when it comes to Bathroom Badgers too.  If that’s the case then we most certainly don’t have Bathroom Badgers and I was really just writing about someone else right now.

About Shoes

I am an elementary school teacher, a former microbiologist, a mom to a herd of two boys, and a grilled cheese sandwich and beer connoisseur.
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22 Responses to With the Warmer Weather Comes the Bathroom Badgers

  1. Amazing! And I thought it was my son banging his soccer cleats all over the freshly cleaned house! Poor kid – darned badgers!

    • shoes says:

      Oh no, it sounds like you owe your son and his soccer cleats an apology. I am glad to hear I am not the only one with a bathroom badger infestation.

      Thanks for the comment!

  2. Jodi Stone says:

    True confessions, I’m a house badger. I leave messes of clothes and paper wherever I go. 🙂

    • shoes says:

      So you are the one sneaking into my house and making all those messes. The least you could do is stay and have a cup of coffee and a chat with me before you smear toothpaste around my bathroom and track mud around my house!

  3. I think the bathroom badgers have been visiting my home recently, too! Hilarious post! I can completely relate!

    • shoes says:

      I have looked for Bathroom Badger Bait at Home Depot but they never seem to carry it. Maybe I need to set up a live trap with an open tube of toothpaste in it and see what I catch. 🙂 Glad I am not alone with my Bathroom Badger woes.

  4. mommysaidaswearword says:

    yes, I do. He is 6’3” and responds to the name ‘husband’.

  5. mimijk says:

    I had four of them, but three of them were my sons who are now grown…still have the fourth one though – my husband 🙂

  6. Katy says:

    We definitely have these strange creatures in our house too. Cannot get them to go away either!!! Ours tend to stay all year long but the addition of sand means the warmer weather is here 🙂

    • shoes says:

      Wow – the non-hibernating, year round Bathroom Badger, now that is a tough one! 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

  7. EV says:

    They are on holiday in SC. Or maybe it’s their cousins.

  8. We don’t really have bathroom badgers, but we definitely have bedroom badgers. They are just as sneaky when they come into my girls’ bedrooms. They leave dirty clothes & towels on the floor, toys scattered about, and they even unmake the beds! If you ever find that bait at Home Depot please let me know!

  9. muddledmom says:

    Mm. Yeah. They visit here frequently. All over the house!

  10. cestarr says:

    I’ve resigned myself to leaving the kids’ bathroom door shut. Keep the badgers trapped in there I say! Hysterical post! =)

  11. Centric…mocking gravity…final defiant act…OMG, I love your style! 😀 And, yes, these same critters are also indigenous to the South. I’ve never had a green thumb except for this species.

    • shoes says:

      Thank you ssm, you comment on my writing style made my day! Sorry to hear you are also afflicted with Bathroom Badgers, those darn pesky critters.

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