My Sasquatch? I Think I Left it in My Other Pants.

Posted on April 3, 2012 by Shoes

Our house is situated on a dead end road off a cul-de-sac of another road, off a long road that leads into town.  Or out of town, depending on which way you are going.  That being the case, we drive on this long road, which I will call Boring Road, a lot.  There are one or two other ways to get to our house which lessen the time driving on Boring Road but I usually end up taking the shorter route and suffering the monotony of it all.

test sign

One of the few awesome things about driving on Boring Road used to be a ten foot tall wooden carved statue of a sasquatch located in the side yard of someone’s house.  I mean seriously, how could this not make your day, especially if you are like me and secretly wish you could believe in the sasquatch’s existence.  You should know that I am guessing on the height of the statue because I have not had the privilege of seeing the statue up close.  But the point is that the sasquatch helped to break up the monotony of my drive home.  Oh look, there’s the sasquatch, it is not far now!

The sasquatch used to brighten my day with its unwavering presence.  I would drive by and there it would be.  I have even been know to use the sasquatch as a landmark while giving directions to our house.  Once you get on Boring Road it is easy.  Continue driving up the hill, you will see a sasquatch on your right hand side.  A mile past the sasquatch turn right off Boring Road at the large ceramic rooster.  If you pass the house that puts up the giant Grinch on their roof at Christmas then you have gone too far.  I think I give pretty stellar directions so I often wonder why people who come to our house for the first time end up calling, lost and very far away from where they should be.

image

It’s not like he could just decide to walk away.  The sasquatch.  I am talking about the sasquatch in case you got confused and were thinking about the ceramic rooster or the Grinch.  But apparently I was wrong because he has done just that.  It has been eight months since my last sasquatch sighting.  I look for it every time I pass the place where he used to be.  It is simply not there.

image

I know it is stupid but I just can’t shake it.  Where did the sasquatch go?  And how did it go?  Who took it?  And why?  I have played over in my mind many time the conversation I would have with the people who live in the house next to where the sasquatch used to stand.  The people who lost my sasquatch.  Several times I have almost pulled into their driveway to ask them because I really, really want to know.  And now so much time has passed since the disappearance of the sasquatch that it would just seem too creepy to ask.

I guess the best I can hope for is to one day get a flat tire in close proximity to their house, feint that I don’t have a cell phone, and ask to use their phone.  In this scenario I would have a reason to be at their house and could casually bring up the distinct lack of sasquatches in the area and just see where the conversation goes.  That is my plan unless you can come up with a better one.

p.s.  I think I may have missed my calling as a cartographer…

Posted in Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Simple Sunday – Art or Wallpaper?

Posted on April 1, 2012 by Shoes

Art or Wallpaper

Posted in Random Thoughts, Simple Sunday | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Victory Lap with my Morning Cup of Coffee

Posted on March 31, 2012 by Shoes

Do you remember that contest that I accidently entered last week over at The Byronic Man?  Well it appears as though the public has responded and their choice, by a landslide very small margin, was me.  Excuse me while I do a small victory lap around the living room,  pajamas and robe fluttering and coffee threatening to splosh over the side of my mug.

I wish I had time to come up with a lovely and witty post for you all to read but I really do need to get my suitcase packed for Husband and my overnight trip to the big city, sans kids.  Instead I will let you in on Casa de Wrong Feet’s latest addiction, the Decorah Eagles.  As I type this, I am distracted by an adult eagle feeding pieces of day old fish to three eaglets in their nest.  The streaming video has been up on our screen for several days now and has been not only educational for the boys but also makes for a good distraction tool.

me:  Seeing Carter, arm raised, wielding a piece of wooden train track with which he is forming a plan to whack his brother on the head.  Eagle!  Look the mommy bird is feeding hunks of dead squirrel to her babies.

carter:  Eww, dead squirrel!!!  The train track piece falls from his hand, all but forgotten as he rushes to the computer to watch.

That is all I have for now.  If I am not too hung over from a weekend of museums and mojitos with Husband, I will have a Simple Sunday post for you.  If the mojitos threaten to take me down then check back early in the week for a tale of a sasquatch gone missing.

Thank you to all those who voted for me, you will not be forgtten.  *wink*  Thank you to The Byronic Man for hosting weekly contests into which people like myself accidently blunder.  I am looking forward to the fame and glory of being your Featured Blogger of the Week.

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The Blogs I Follow

Posted on March 29, 2012 by Shoes

Most of the blogs I follow I choose to follow because they amuse me, make me laugh, or simply brighten my day.  Several of the bloggers, these great writer friends of mine, I think of as my friends even though we have never met and most likely never will.  We share little bits and pieces of our lives with one another.  We have a connection, a commonality that I find greatly rewarding.  A couple of them I even exchange emails with and have vague and distance plans to meet over coffee someday.  But not all the blogs I follow make me happy.  Some of them anger me or make me sad.

One blog in particular…  But I will get to that.  First you should know that I am awful at following news, news of any sort.  This has always been a problem of mine but since having kids the focus of my attention and energy has drifted more and more inward to my little family.  And while I think this can be natural and healthy, I also am finding it more concerning as this feeling of disconnect with the world in general grows.  Things, big things are happening out there but so are little things that have less of a voice and tend to get pushed aside with each shouting headline.  I am ashamed to say that I get most of my “news” from day old Colbert Reports, random friends’ Facebook status, and various blogs that are mostly satirical in nature.  None of these sources are really helping me stay abreast of current world affairs.  Except when they do.

Back to that blog, that one that is so beautifully written but that I find so painful to read.  Words smeared like thick unruly oil paint, harsh lines of charcoal gray, streaks of burnt sienna, and slashes of dusty yellow sunshine barely noticeable amidst the dark colors used over and over again at the hands of this blogger, this painter who uses words instead of paint.  I cringe when I get a notification that she has posted again.  I cringe because of the horrific topics and the rawness in the way she writes about them.  But I also cringe because to me the reality of human trafficking, domestic abuse, police brutality, and abject poverty can simply go away with a click of my mouse.  It pains me that it is so easy to disregard so much pain.

The wordsmith behind this blog, Maiya, lives in Papua New Guinea and she writes from personal experience as well as from the experiences of her neighbors, friends, and community.  I am ashamed that I had to look up Papua New Guinea on my globe and that I know next to nothing about this far away land.

I am honestly not sure what I am trying to get at. I am not naïve to the daily sufferings around the world, one does not need to look far to find it, certainly not as far as half way around the world.  But yesterday when this blogger seemed to falter, to show signs of giving up, I could not get out of my head what a loss it would be, not just to me but to others.  While the headlines roar and get more than their just due of attention, it is the whispers that chill me.  It is the whispers that get my attention.  And Maiya is a poet of whispers.

Since I am on this subject so atypical for me, I would like to point out two other blog posts, each on a very different topic, that resonate with me.  Just a little bit of this and that.

Ok, sorry for skittering sideways on you but I needed to get this out of my head.  My next post will be about sasquatches, unless I get lazy and you don’t hear from me until Sunday in which case I will throw a Simple Sunday post at you and you will have to wait until early next week to read about sasquatches.

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Hot in the City!

Posted on March 28, 2012 by Shoes

My birthday is coming up in a little over a week.  As a present to me my mom offered to:

a.) come visit us and treat Husband, myself, and the kids to a dinner out
b.) come visit us and watch the kids while Husband and I go out to dinner alone, her treat.

I slyly suggested a third option because after all multiple choice type questions have at least three answers to choose from, am I right? So I suggested this third idea:

c.) she comes to visit, stays with the kids and tends to their never ending needs while Husband and I go into the Big City have dinner and then spend the night. In a hotel.  Just him and I.  And, of course, we would foot our own bill.

Soooo, this weekend Husband and I have a super hot date.  The type of date where there is a hotel involved and we get to wake up in the morning just the two of us.  No little boys asking for drinks of water or needing their sheets re-tucked in.  No early morning visitors wishing to snuggle but having to bring every stuffed animal under our roof to join us in that snuggle.  Nope, just two in the bed.  We might just get all crazy and sleep in until 7!  Or who knows, maybe even 8.

On the agenda in my head there will be a leisurely stroll through an art museum (a bit more romantic than say, a history museum).  We will hold hands and lean in, as to more closely examine an oil here or a watercolor there.  We will probably joke that our three year old could draw a better picture but we will keep our voices down so as not to offend any artist types lurking about.  There will be dinner and drinks at a place that does not require me to dress up.  No linen tablecloths for me.  I would like to find a place that makes really good mojitos and perhaps overindulge a little bit.  Mmmmm, mojitos…  I would like to watch a movie in an actual movie theater.  I don’t remember the last time Husband and I went to the theater but I do remember enjoying it.  Oh and I may or may not have purchased something small and black with bits of lace (ooh, la la.)*  That is, of course, for Husband to find out, not you.

I will try to get a Simple Sunday post up like I always do but other than that, don’t expect too much from me blog-wise during the weekend.  I will be much too busy refining my knowledge of the arts, getting sloshed on mojitos, and sleeping.

*If you really must make a comment in the comments section regarding little black and lacy, might I suggest a simple ooh, la la and leave it at that.  I am one who is quick to blush and would prefer this not get all creepy.  Thank you.

Posted in Random Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

You Can’t Win if You Don’t Play

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Shoes

Isn’t that how that old saying goes?

Last week I accidently entered a contest over at The Byronic Man.  I read his blog post made a flippant comment and then moved on with my life.  Come to find out that blog post was part of a weekly contest he puts on called the Weekly Question of the Week and my flippant comment caused me to become a finalist.  I should have known it was a contest, I mean, it was right there in the post and not even printed in fine print.

So, it is with some trepidation that I am telling you this and if you care to, you may check out the other finalists and place your vote.  I am not entirely sure I want to win because then I would be expected to come up with even more brilliance as I would become his featured blogger of the week.  I don’t know how much brilliance I can spare and still retain enough for my blog.

But there it is.  Vote.  Or not.  For me.  Or not. (Wow, I would really suck at politics!)  But whatever you do you really should check out The Byronic Man.  He is good for a laugh.  Or two.

Oh, yeah – here is the link.  That might come in handy if you choose to see what the heck I am babbling about.

Posted in Blogging/Writing | Tagged , , | 13 Comments

Simple Sunday – Boats, Panthers, Moss, and Mushrooms

Posted on March 25, 2012 by Shoes

The last couple days have been ones filled with sunshine, albeit bookended with gray clouds and rain.  We got out and made the most of them.

The boys put on rain boots and floated little scraps of orange painted wood little boats in the grassy ditch in our neighborhood.

Floating Boats Collage

We spent a lot of time just hanging out in the woods on our property.  We were on the lookout for cougars (of both varieties) due to the recent cougar sighting at Carter’s school but we only saw one rather fierce looking panther.

Panther

After spending forever in the woods, with the boys showing no sign of interest waning, I got bored and started taking pictures, some of which I will now subject you to.

Moss with Salal

Mushroom large

Mushroom small

Hope you all are having a lovely weekend!

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When is a Weed Not a Weed?

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Shoes

Answer:  When you are a child.

Yesterday was the second day of spring.  Between the multiple moving shades of gray, there in the sky was a glimmer of pale blue; memories of short wearing and popsicle eating floating just beyond the clouds.  It was still in the low 40’s and I was cold so I tried to hurry Carter from the school bus stop to our house.  Hurrying Carter is a fine art form that can easily backfire leading to the digging in of little heels and internal (and not so internal) meltdowns by the momma.

Lately he is obsessed with Madrona bark (or Madrone bark for those of you living south of the Siskiyou Mountains of southern Oregon/northern California.  Or for any readers I may have in British Columbia, the bark of the Arbutus.)  He collects it by the little fistfuls to bring into the house.  He carefully places it in the kindling box next to the fireplace for me to use as fire starter.  He is quite proud of himself for this contribution.  After the obligatory bark collection, where I oooh and aaah over the nicest of pieces, we go in the house, take off our coats and shoes, and discuss what would be good to eat for lunch.  He wants a peanut butter and honey sandwich with a side of strawberries and honey wheat pretzel sticks.  Tuesday it was vanilla bean yogurt sprinkled with Grape-nuts.  As long as it is somewhat healthy and not terribly repetitive I let him choose the afternoon time menu.

I head for the kitchen to make us some sandwiches when he lets out a yelp.

carter:  Momma, momma come!  clap,clap,clap – yes he actually claps when he calls for me making me feel very doglike.  There is something yellow and big in the backyard!  He whispers the word “big” to accentuate his excitement.

me:  Well, what do you think it is sweetheart?

carter:  Again with his dramatic whisper – A flower.  He is off to find his boots and go pick the flower for you, momma!

So on the second day of spring my true love little boy gave to me a lovely yellow dandelion.

Carter and flower collage

When is a weed not a weed?

Answer:  When your child gives it to you.

Posted in Little Feet | Tagged , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Cougar Sighting

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Shoes

In the past month I have received two emails from Carter’s school alerting me that a cougar was sighted in a neighborhood near the school.  His school is a fifteen minute drive from our house.  The email went on to say:

We are taking necessary precautions at “insert Carter’s elementary school name here” such as increased awareness of supervisory staff during recess and lunch breaks and avoiding fields, playgrounds and parking lots that border wooded areas.

As I tell Husband about this, the boys, who can be in the next room but can hear our every word, pick up on our conversation.  They come and peer over my shoulder at the email.  I think to myself what a great time for a learning moment.

me:  Now if you see a cougar you don’t want to run.  You should slowly back away.  Go to an adult or get inside a car or house.

cody:  But mom, cougars are just people.

me:  Very confused.  Umm, no Cody, cougars are wild animals with big teeth and sharp claws that can hurt you.  They are wild animals.

carter:  If I see a cougars I will catch it and eat it!

me:  Let me show you what a cougar looks like guys.  I do a quick Google Image search for cougars.  I should have known better…

Image number one:

cougar1

Image number two:

cougar2

Image number three (Ah, finally!):

cougar3

In the five rows of pictures that pop up there are 20 large breasted, scantily clad women, 18 cougars scientifically known as felis concolor (just so we are all clear about what type of cougar I am referring to), one picture of a cougar cat with a man’s bloody decapitated head photoshopped in its jaws, and one picture of Jeff McCarragher who I learned is the director of broadcasting for the Cougar Sports network at the University of Charleston.

cody:  Looking at the computer screen during the brief time I am frozen with shock at how inappropriate the images are for my boys to be looking at.  See mom, I told you cougars were just people.  They are fans.

A light bulb goes on over my head.  I realize Cody is talking about college football fans, the Cougars and the Huskies.  We are not sports fans here in the house of Wrong Feet in case you hadn’t noticed.  I click on a picture of a cougar with some cubs.

carter:  Ahhh, cougar are cute and fuzzy like ‘Lilah (Delilah, or ‘Lilah for short, is the cat who is not our cat but who has moved into our house and as such we feed her, clean her litter box, and occasionally vacuum her cat tower.  A story for another day.)  I will pick one up and hug it!

Oh dear, this learning moment is not going how I envisioned it would go.  I click back to the images page to find a more fierce looking picture.  Carter immediately begs me to click on a picture of a woman wearing a tight pink shirt that has the word Cougar scrolled in gold letters across her bosom.  I have no idea why.  I show them a few more pictures of scary looking cougars but they are loosing interest.  I give up and help them into boots and jackets and send them outside to play.

In the warmth of my house, sipping a cup of coffee, I click on a link about cougar safety tips.  The second tip is this:

Keep an eye on your children. Don’t let your children play unattended in the back yard, especially when cougars are known to be in the area.

Ooops.  I start to feel like a bad parent until I read the second sentence more carefully.  I go back to drinking my coffee confident that my children are safe – playing unattended in the front yard.

Posted in Little Feet, The Great Outdoors | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Simple Sunday – Bowling Boys

Posted on March 18, 2012 by Shoes

Today we went to a bowling birthday party for some long time friends who are turning six years old (long time being relative in this situation.)  It was the first time the boys had ever bowled and they were pretty excited.  There was a lot of ball chucking and bouncing from bumpers but fun was had by all.

Bowling Boys collage

Final scores:

Cody – 57  Carter – 83

We will definitely be having a family bowling night sometime soon!

Posted in Simple Sunday | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments